every time something exciting happens at the trinidad & tobago embassy they dress up like the above photograph and play drums and sometimes they sing hymns. life seems real awesome on these islands.
May 5, 2012
my head my head
guess what? this is making my head hurt today. the pain is twofold: 1) after drinking heaps of margaritas last night, no, the gigantic drums (of the steel and other varieties) at the trinidad & tobago embassy across the street from me do not sound nice and 2) i cannot go to any of these events because the person i would take with me to see these dumb embassies and their "stately mansions and exclusive compounds" does not arrive for 10 days. so fuck you, around the world embassy tour.
April 28, 2012
April 21, 2012
i just have one question
when did drake start cross dressing?
i mean, generally i wouldn't complain. but leopard print is rly not flattering on you.
[i'd take lil wayne in his slime green moon boots any day srybb]
I GUESS ALL THERE IS TO SAY IS #YOLO
i mean, generally i wouldn't complain. but leopard print is rly not flattering on you.
[i'd take lil wayne in his slime green moon boots any day srybb]
I GUESS ALL THERE IS TO SAY IS #YOLO
April 13, 2012
some text/video i have 'real liked' (hehe) lately:
1. scary, no scary by zachary schomburg. this is the first thing i have read by zachary or that has been published by black ocean press. i don't think there is a single thing i didn't like about this book, between the look of the physical book (real good typeface, nice size/shape, great cover, and really liked the black inside the cover) and the poems themselves. zachary is a terror. seriously, i'm afraid of him. he's just like this exquisite beast. i'd heard he was great but he's better than that. jackson is reading fjords vol. 1 to me via skype atm and that one's real good too. definitely terrified of zachary schomburg.
2. the x-files. before this week i had never even seen a minute of an episode of the x-files. completely missed out on that as a teen or whenever i should have been watching it. gregory sherl talks about the x-files a lot, particularly scully. i real like gregory sherl. after i noticed how gregory references the x-files [pretty often] i started noticing how many other people talk about the show. everyone seems to talk about this show. after i went to boston and people yelled at me about how i needed to start watching it i decided to do it. i am real susceptible to peer pressure. i watched the first 5 episodes in a row on tuesday and haven't looked back since.
3. dancer in the dark. lars von trier is one fucked up bro. he is also a pretty genius director. he could put anything on a screen and i would probably watch it i think. i have seen antichrist and melancholia. i had dancer in the dark from netflix for like a month before watching it. i have never seen bjork do anything for this long before this film. she is freaking cute. like so twee in this movie, a real cutie. seems inspirational. she is going blind but she just smiles heaps. then she kills someone. that wasn't so nice of her i guess :( real scary scene at the end of bjork being hanged. had some real problems sleeping that night, but was 100% worth it.
4. i am by peterbd. was real good.
2. the x-files. before this week i had never even seen a minute of an episode of the x-files. completely missed out on that as a teen or whenever i should have been watching it. gregory sherl talks about the x-files a lot, particularly scully. i real like gregory sherl. after i noticed how gregory references the x-files [pretty often] i started noticing how many other people talk about the show. everyone seems to talk about this show. after i went to boston and people yelled at me about how i needed to start watching it i decided to do it. i am real susceptible to peer pressure. i watched the first 5 episodes in a row on tuesday and haven't looked back since.
3. dancer in the dark. lars von trier is one fucked up bro. he is also a pretty genius director. he could put anything on a screen and i would probably watch it i think. i have seen antichrist and melancholia. i had dancer in the dark from netflix for like a month before watching it. i have never seen bjork do anything for this long before this film. she is freaking cute. like so twee in this movie, a real cutie. seems inspirational. she is going blind but she just smiles heaps. then she kills someone. that wasn't so nice of her i guess :( real scary scene at the end of bjork being hanged. had some real problems sleeping that night, but was 100% worth it.
4. i am by peterbd. was real good.
March 21, 2012
can you be lonely 15 hours after you leave the person who makes you feel not lonely
things i've done in that time:
-watched jackson nieuwland's plane leave the gate at the airport
-cried
-left the airport
-pumped gas
-talked to my parents on 'speakerphone'
-drove back to dc
-picked up wine
-bought a top (will always feel like a bad top maybe)
-drove home
-chatted jacob steinberg
-walked to a coffee shop
-ordered/ate a vege sandwich, two iced mochas and some kind of pastry
-read some bad fiction
-chatted jackson nieuwland for ~5 min
-walked home
-turned the light on in my bed area, saw a bug 'scuttling' around inside of it, walked into my living area
-ate string cheese and milk while watching sex and the city's final episode
-didn't change the channel when that 70's show came on
-brushed my teeth
-got in bed
-did things online
-read some of 'i remember' by shane allison, real good
-turned out the lights
-turned them back on to check where jackson nieuwland's plane was on the flight map on united.com
-turned out the lights
-cried
-fell asleep
-woke up ~5 hrs later
-peed (did this other times, this one seems notable i guess)
-saw it was foggy/cold
-thought of going back to sleep
-went on the internet instead
-wrote a blog post
-watched jackson nieuwland's plane leave the gate at the airport
-cried
-left the airport
-pumped gas
-talked to my parents on 'speakerphone'
-drove back to dc
-picked up wine
-bought a top (will always feel like a bad top maybe)
-drove home
-chatted jacob steinberg
-walked to a coffee shop
-ordered/ate a vege sandwich, two iced mochas and some kind of pastry
-read some bad fiction
-chatted jackson nieuwland for ~5 min
-walked home
-turned the light on in my bed area, saw a bug 'scuttling' around inside of it, walked into my living area
-ate string cheese and milk while watching sex and the city's final episode
-didn't change the channel when that 70's show came on
-brushed my teeth
-got in bed
-did things online
-read some of 'i remember' by shane allison, real good
-turned out the lights
-turned them back on to check where jackson nieuwland's plane was on the flight map on united.com
-turned out the lights
-cried
-fell asleep
-woke up ~5 hrs later
-peed (did this other times, this one seems notable i guess)
-saw it was foggy/cold
-thought of going back to sleep
-went on the internet instead
-wrote a blog post
February 26, 2012
macros make it easier
i tried to write a post about how i'm scared of flying and how anxiety about one thing makes me anxious about other things via something, but it didn't really work. so i made a macro instead.
January 28, 2012
a poem in lists
1. it is winter but warm out
2. feeling a bit fucked
3. want to go outside b/c nice out but need to get work done but just procrastinating inside instead
4. is this a list
5. wearing red bra and someone else's basketball jersey as a dress, glasses
6. is it appropriate to go outside like this
7. my life is an anxiety dream
8. been having a good number of those lately
9. tinychatted with ana c, stephen tully dierks and jackson last night, seemed real nice
10. thought 'double date'
11. wanna double date them all
12. my apartment is messy
13. if i open all my windows (3) and clean the whole apartment does that count as being outside and productive
2. feeling a bit fucked
3. want to go outside b/c nice out but need to get work done but just procrastinating inside instead
4. is this a list
5. wearing red bra and someone else's basketball jersey as a dress, glasses
6. is it appropriate to go outside like this
8. been having a good number of those lately
9. tinychatted with ana c, stephen tully dierks and jackson last night, seemed real nice
10. thought 'double date'
11. wanna double date them all
12. my apartment is messy
13. if i open all my windows (3) and clean the whole apartment does that count as being outside and productive
January 20, 2012
you know what i hate?
plans that don't get happened. this seems to be an inevitable part of life and is much easier to take as i become old but still feels disappointing from time to time, depending on the nature of the plan.
things i am certain i will do this year because i have talked about them:
1) become a rap goddess
2) write a fantasy novel with jackson
3) begin/continue a reading series in my apartment starting with february
4) read things from my brain for multiple upcoming readings including but not limited to three tents, mock turtle and 'a thing at a place where you listen to some people read some things' (on my birthday!!!)
5) go to awp with jackson and see everyone (this is definitely happening because we have already booked everything)
6) apply for a visa in new zealand and apply for jobs in new zealand and return to new zealand in december for 'the long run' (aka 2-3 years), in tandem with this move out of my apartment in august and live at home from sept-dec (bleak?)
7) finish my thesis and also create a real list of places where i want to send it not just one in my head
8) get my mfa degree (expect this to happen in december now)
9) continue writing reviews for the lit pub
10) revise and send out an essay i wrote in december comparing girlie beat poets and internet lit writers
11) apply to teach high schoolers this summer
12) successfully teach 'the rhetoric of cult film' (lol)
13) be in love with jackson nieuwland
things i am certain i will do this year because i have talked about them:
1) become a rap goddess
2) write a fantasy novel with jackson
3) begin/continue a reading series in my apartment starting with february
4) read things from my brain for multiple upcoming readings including but not limited to three tents, mock turtle and 'a thing at a place where you listen to some people read some things' (on my birthday!!!)
5) go to awp with jackson and see everyone (this is definitely happening because we have already booked everything)
6) apply for a visa in new zealand and apply for jobs in new zealand and return to new zealand in december for 'the long run' (aka 2-3 years), in tandem with this move out of my apartment in august and live at home from sept-dec (bleak?)
7) finish my thesis and also create a real list of places where i want to send it not just one in my head
8) get my mfa degree (expect this to happen in december now)
9) continue writing reviews for the lit pub
10) revise and send out an essay i wrote in december comparing girlie beat poets and internet lit writers
11) apply to teach high schoolers this summer
12) successfully teach 'the rhetoric of cult film' (lol)
13) be in love with jackson nieuwland
January 15, 2012
things i learn when jackson leaves his homework open on my computer and then i find it when i'm at the library without him
1) every time he means its, jackson writes it's. which is three times in this example, which is 193 words long. that is 3/193 or 1/64 R1 (which doesn't mean anything but seemed worth including since i took the time to do long division on 193/3 with my finger on this desk to see if 193 was divisible by 3) or ~1.6%
2) something i already knew but you might not is that when jackson wants to write words with 'ize' in them he writes 'ise' via being a kiwi. also of note is that kiwis (and perhaps aussies? that part is debatable tbh) say 'zed' instead of 'zee' for the letter z and feel quite vehemently that there is no debating the accuracy of this. it is perhaps true that british fuckers might do this as well.
3) when jackson types on a word document, he uses verdana font size 10.
4) when writing for class, jackson uses scare quotes appropriately.
5) jackson makes the embarrassing error of typing 'many organization such as churches and the railway systems'.
6) really, it seems like a homework assignment about the font gill sans should have been written in gill sans, really.
7) it appears that jackson is still a supporter of the oxford comma.
8) i love you, jackson. [insert overly cute 'vacation photo' of us here.]
2) something i already knew but you might not is that when jackson wants to write words with 'ize' in them he writes 'ise' via being a kiwi. also of note is that kiwis (and perhaps aussies? that part is debatable tbh) say 'zed' instead of 'zee' for the letter z and feel quite vehemently that there is no debating the accuracy of this. it is perhaps true that british fuckers might do this as well.
3) when jackson types on a word document, he uses verdana font size 10.
4) when writing for class, jackson uses scare quotes appropriately.
5) jackson makes the embarrassing error of typing 'many organization such as churches and the railway systems'.
6) really, it seems like a homework assignment about the font gill sans should have been written in gill sans, really.
7) it appears that jackson is still a supporter of the oxford comma.
8) i love you, jackson. [insert overly cute 'vacation photo' of us here.]
January 10, 2012
things i do when i am supposed to be getting work done at the library while jackson is in class:
-read through a lot of facebook stories
-kick off my shoes and rub my feet together like mad to relieve sandfly bites, feel sneaky while doing this
-stare intently at a face on the desk
-kick off my shoes and rub my feet together like mad to relieve sandfly bites, feel sneaky while doing this
-stare intently at a face on the desk
-gaze wistfully out at the wellington harbor and somes island
-watch clouds 'scuttle' (this is a real thing here, i see these clouds and i think 'scuttle', who am i) across the sky
-read an email from one of my high school teachers about writing a letter of rec for me but during which he comments that 'Facebook tells me that you're madly in love and enjoying life like never before' which makes me feel slightly embarrassed at first and then like i just need to 'own it'
-respond saying i am in love
-read through an old document about my qualifications to work as a tutor for juvenile delinquents in college, feel embarrassed about the level of detail i went into at that time
-transfer photos like this one from my phone to my computer
-feel mildly worried about data rates here and make sure my data plan is still turned off
-label this photo 'jaxboost1.jpg' because there are more to come
-text ben rosamond about meeting up with him in napier tonight
-feel moderate anxiety about driving on the left side of the road in 2-3 hours
-look at the time for the oejfew2-0u0-1th time and wonder if jax will get out of class early so i can stop being so productive
-click edit and tweak things in this post at least 10 times
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