1. james duncan's blog post about a million bears.
i enjoy james's voice a lot. in writing and out loud (hehe) (stacey teague's memeplex lolz). he writes well about humans and emotions and sadness in a way that does not make me want to throw up or run away. he makes me think about the things i thought about when i was 15 a lot, not because i think of him as a child but because he seems to still be tapped into that. in a kind of thoughtful, expansive way.
2. everything about death on antipobros.
i read stacey's poem about ideas for poems. i immediately opened a word document because it made me want to write a poem. i got distracted by the rest of the poem and then james's poems and then stacey and james's sad songs and stacey's macro. i read all the comments about james's poems and thought, i feel this way about james's poems too. i didn't add any comments because it felt nice to just watch. i felt strongly that i wanted to make my own death playlist and not post it anywhere. i felt strongly that i wanted to listen to sad music and feel sad like the antipobros. i thought about how it's funny that it's winter there and how i'm usually sad during the winter and wondered if now i'm going to be sad during the summer and happy during the winter because my friends are across the world from me. thinking about my friends being across the world from me made me feel sad. i wondered what jackson was going to post for the death topic. someone on tv said 'death'.
3. m kitchell's new chapbook 'i don't feel and it feels great'.
the photograph on the 'cover' makes me feel calm. the tone is different than i would have expected. feel a little despondent that 'he' isn't having tons of sex. everyone is loving venn diagrams right now. think about naked men jerking off and feel a little good about that. mike kitchell staring hard at me or anyone else in a room where i am seems really nice in a non-sexual way. in middle/high school i used to fantasize often about a vampire coming in through my window to kiss me and have sex with me. 'mike' talking about wanting to fuck ghosts reminds me of that. i think 'fabricate that shit' when 'he' talks about dramatic effect and wonder mildly whether it is (fabricated) or not, knowing it doesn't really matter poetically but that it might matter on a human level. think about drinking tecates in college park and feel connected. feel like the last five sentences on the second to last page are 'relatable'. i hate the word 'relatable'. i have been taught to hate the idea 'relatable'. wrote all of this while reading m's chapbook.
should revise the title to 'two hours' now but i'm not going to.
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