is this cat a gremlin or a furby? i can't decide yo.

good or evil?

the power of cute.

u guyz i just don't know!

yahoo! answer update.

don't worry, i have a plan. this is not over, jillian miller!

but also:

this warms the cockles of my cold little heart :)

i don't like you either, yahoo! answers

yesterday i posted about sharing the first page of novella with yahoo! answers for some fine critiques. today i received this sweet little e-mail from yahoo! telling me how much they hate it.

they got real mad, and then they took my points. i feel like a first grader who got her name put on the board AND her lucky bucks taken away. i am appealing said removal of my question, but i ultimately consider this to be a positive thing: people are already banning my books.

yahoo! answer me.

i've been working on longer things for my mfa program lately, and i'm finally finished drafting the first three sections of the novella i'm starting. after reading that post on html giant where someone posted the first page of infinite jest asking for advice on the "first page of their book" and got hilarious, serious responses back, i decided to do the same thing. here's the best response so far:

for the record, no one even called me out on the fact that that in my sleep-deprived state i called it the first "chapter" instead of "page." the punctuation police like a short first chapter, i guess :)

hey! why don't you get in on the game and tell me how you really feel?

other people poems.

i have to focus on my novella for the next couple weeks, so i'm restraining from posting to this new place called all write then. it's a lot like LPP, except with voting always, and the possibility of being published in a physical, tangible journal.

there have been some really great submissions so far, including Serious Poets poncho peligroso, cody troyan, stephen tully dierks and steve roggenbuck. vote for them all.

but. if you're only going to read one poem on this site (which would be stupid, but gives importance to what i'm about to say), make it this poem by shaun gannon. my comment about said poem's very large penis is awaiting moderation on the site currently.

cat santa cat aids

my entry for LPP's april contest, caution.

vote! vote! vote! (just click like, okay?)

the title is

LOVE.

i like this a lot.

omar de col's image macros consistently make me happy. he posts a lot of them here. recently a lot of them focus on photos of babies and little kids. i don't know how many of them are actually omar as a child, or whether that matters. these kids have a lot to say and i love them.

flannel

(one segment can also be found here at internet poetry)

all my questions answered!!

i asked steve roggenbuck a question and he answered!! omg lolz!

hey, you can do it too.

fraudulent

i did a google search of my name today and got this:

my poem doesn't appear when you click on it or anything, but it's great to know some random, spamtastic health website is tuned into my poetry.

hipster lord byron

i've got flowers/ and lots of hours/ to spend with you

sweet website. you should check it out.

here are some highlights.

bukowski contemplates the pussy.

frank o'hara reads aloud to pussy.

ginsy gets contorted with the pussy.

hunter s., before smoking the pussy.

william s. is crawlin' for pussy.

(it's funny cause...)

she told me how good she felt and I told her how good I felt

i love bukowski. i just got love is a dog from hell. here is my favorite poem that i've come across thus far:

like a flower in the rain

I cut the middle fingernail of the middle
finger
right hand
real short
and I began rubbing along her cunt
as she sat upright in bed
spreading lotion over her arms
face
and breasts
after bathing.
then she lit a cigarette:
"don't let this put you off,"
and smoked and continued to rub the
lotion on.
I continued to rub the cunt.
"you want an apple?" I asked.
"sure," she said, "you got one?"
but I got to her--
she began to twist
then she rolled on her side,
she was getting wet and open
like a flower in the rain.
then she rolled on her stomach
and her most beautiful ass
looked up at me
and I reached under and got the
cunt again.
she reached around and got my
cock, she rolled and twisted,
I mounted
my face falling into the mass
of red hair that overflowed
from her head
and my fattened cock entered
into the miracle.
later we joked about the lotion
and the cigarette and the apple.
then I went out and got some chicken
and shrimp and french fries and buns
and mashed potatoes and gravy and
cole slaw, and we ate. she told me
how good she felt and I told her
how good I felt and we ate
the chicken and the shrimp and the
french fries and the buns and the
mashed potatoes and the gravy and
the cole slaw too.

the rules of attraction

i'm watching the rules of attraction for the first time all the way through. i haven't read the book, but i appreciate bret easton ellis and have read the informers and part of american psycho before i got bored. i realize i need to read less than zero and the rules of attraction, and have been meaning to do so. back to the movie... is it zeitgeist? i don't know, but shannyn sossamon is gorgeous, i think. i'm enjoying all the heightened angst. shannyn's character, lauren, is raped within the first few minutes (i've never seen this part before), which is really harsh obviously. but i'm stuck on something she says about victor. she describes him as "only a little gay," and i thought, oh yes, oh how perfect... i feel for ya, lauren.

luh you jay baruchel. luh you harry, don't die harry.

here is genius

steve roggenbuck is a fucking genius and you should know who he is. i fell in love with i am like october when i am dead, his first poetry chapbook, the second i read this:

he has a new book out called DOWNLOAD HELVETICA FOR FREE.COM. you can read the whole thing on his website or download the pdf. i suggest the latter, mainly because i'm luv'n the moon boots he's wearing on his feet on page 2.

since i am making a big deal out of this fellow today, i will also steal a video link from steve's tweets and put it here, for your enjoyment. in this video, charles bukowski waxes poetic on what bores him. 

"it's like writing a good poem, you just do it--it's a beer shit." (now go read some bukowski).